Choose wisely. Choose your partner, your friends and your surroundings based on gut instinct. If you have a seconds worth of ‘maybe not’ thoughts … then don’t do it! Don’t develop that friendship, don’t buy that house or car, don’t marry that guy or gal. STOP and listen to the inner YOU for a moment. Choose to marry a partner who uplifts and inspires you to do better, be more, and makes you feel good to be around them. Being around negative people or living in a negative environment brings YOU down in the long run and you will ultimately end up being more like those friends or that negative spouse, partner or mate.
Manage your money better. If you don’t have it; don’t spend it. Everyone lives so far outside their means in today’s world. Charge this; get a loan; buy it on credit … all this causes strife in a marriage or relationship and can be a happy home’s undoing. If you can’t buy it with cash, unless it’s something that will eventually MAKE you double the investment; don’t buy it! Little expenses add up each month and one partner in a relationship is usually more ‘money conscious’ than the other … spending money can cause extra stress to the ‘money saver’ in a marriage or partnership; so by nixing that extra Latté at the mall can cut even a small amount of anxiety to your other half.
Avoid the ‘fault finder’ mind set. It is always easier to point the finger and assign blame to another. Rather than accusing your partner, husband or wife of things THEY may be doing wrong; instead point the finger at yourself and try to discover ways in which YOU can change your behaviors to create a happier marriage or relationship. Learn to seek out and appreciate the positive aspects of your mate and see those things rather than the negative. THEY will be more appreciative of you if you can do this on a regular basis.
LOVE thy inlaws…or at least make a good effort at it! When you accept a partner or spouse; you aren’t just marrying ONE person. You are marrying the family. Even if your mate says they don’t care if you have differences with their family … they do. It’s kindof like a schoolyard mentality … it’s ok for you to pick on a younger sibling on the schoolyard; but no one ELSE better pick on your little brother or sister because YOU will be the first person there ready to fight for them. So it’s OK for your mate or spouse to say they HATE their mom or dad or sister or brother; but it’s NOT ok for YOU to say you dislike them or show them disrespect. Respect their right to have opinions or feelings towards their immediate family members; but keep your comments and views to yourself. It will save a lot of heartache and distrust in the end.
Be realistic if you can. Marriage and relationships aren’t like soap opera episodes. It’s not always glitz and glamour …. there are bills to pay, kids to tend to, dishes to do, yards to mow, debt to manage … and the list goes on and on. BUT at the same time; marriages and relationships still have emotional currents and people still have needs amongst the rest of the stress and clutter. Take the time out each day to do ONE thing to show your partner that you still think of them and love them dearly. Write a little note and leave it where they will find it; even if it’s a little ‘I love you’ scribble. Call them at work just to ask how their day is going. Offer to help with dinner or laundry chores just simply reach out and hold their hand when you go for an afternoon walk with the dog … little things can sometimes mean so much to help resolve conflict, show affection, or have a happy life.
