In every relationship, communication is crucial. No relationship is exempt, not even a marriage. Talk to the other about yourself. Volunteer information about your day and about how you feel. It is not a good idea to keep the other guessing about your emotions, thoughts, and motives. Everyone has insecurities, and these are fueled by fear of the unknown and the ability to make assumptions.
2 Be interested. Get your spouse to talk about him/herself. Refrain from making assumptions in your relationship. The best way to prevent making assumptions is to communicate and learn about this person that you married. Ask open-ended questions and let your partner talk freely. Making it a habit to talk about yourself (step #1) and having your partner talk about themselves (step #2) will help you both stay on the same page in the relationship. Remember not to give your significant other the third degree. The purpose of talking about each other is to learn more about each other’s likes, dislikes, problems, aspirations, and other things shared in friendships. A genuine interest is needed.
Share ideas. There should be no secrets kept between spouses. Remember, best friends are best confidants, too. Nothing is worth hiding from your partner (unless it’s a surprise that will benefit the other in a good way). Keeping secrets is a violation of trust, another essential factor in maintaining a healthyfriendship and relationship.
Share tangible things. Being too possessive of something can make your spouse feel less important. This can cause unwanted insecurities that can put a damper on the relationship. If children can learn to share, married people can learn, too.
Spend quality time together. Go to places you would both enjoy. Make a date at least once a week. Even if you have children, it is important to make an effort to spend quality time as a couple. It is important to reconnect often in a relationship verbally, emotionally, and physically. Check out the article How to Date Your Spouse Again by MommyBear (see resources below) for more ideas.
Listen and support each other. Avoid counseling unless your partner requests for advice. There is no need to lecture your partner. Your spouse is your best friend, not an unruly child. Stop whatever else you are doing or thinking and focus on what your partner is saying. Acknowledge her feelings and her perspective. Set aside your judgment and listen. Really listen.
