Step 1
A great sexual relationship
depends upon three things: love, respect, and caring. If you get these in their proper order, the rest of the steps will fall into place. Your wife wants to feel loved and treasured above all else.
Prepare for the next time every time you have sex. Take time to cuddle before and after. Let her know and feel that she is more important to you than the physical act. She loves sex as much as you do, and maybe more. But she feels used when she senses that you’re more into getting it off than you are into sharing the special bonding with her.
An old saying goes, “All good sex starts outside the bedroom.” Build your relationhip with your wife by keeping up the small things outside the bedroom. Make supper sometimes, wash the dishes, take out the garbage, don’t leave your stinky socks for her to pick up. In every way, make sure your friendship is strong.
So now that you’re laying the groundwork, how do you actually proceed to asking her outright for sex? That depends upon the woman, upon what time of the month she’s in, upon her shedule, and upon how much time you have for intimacy. Understand that women don’t turn on instantly, and if she feels stressed, she may not be ready right away.
Compliment her beauty heartily and often. “You’re looking so beautiful today,” you can say. “I love how that new shirt looks on you. Maybe later on, would you like me to take it off for you?” No pressure.
Touch and cherish her. If she just came home from work, stand behind her and kiss her neck and ears. Rub her back a bit and say, “How does this feel? Would you maybe like to go all the way?”
Morning is a wonderful time to have sex. Science has proven that women are more likely to report having an orgasm in the morning. When your wife opens her eyes, smile and kiss her slowly, tenderly. “Good morning, beautiful,” you can say. Rub her gently along the length of her body and see how her skin responds in goosebumps. “I had it hard all night long, being with such a beautiful woman.” She will probably need little urging.
Most women report that they are most turned on by their husbands’ eyes, voice, and touch. Use that to your advantage. Whenever you ask for sex, look her in the eyes. Touch her gently, using long, slow strokes. Talk tenderly into her ear with your deepest, smoothest voice. Women love to relax into their husbands’ embrace, no matter how independent they may be outside the bedroom.
Be honest about your desire for her. Always let her know that you treasure her, and that her body is a huge part of that. Women have a hard time understanding our constant craving for sex. So let her know! Don’t try to manipulate her into it. The more she understands why you want to be with her, the more she will be open to embracing your desire when you come again.
