Start by admitting you made a mistake. This is the hardest step to apologizing to a partner, but it can be done in a way to make you feel less bad about yourself. Tell your partner that you need to apologize because you’re not perfect, just like anyone. Help him to forgive you by explaining that you were not thinking of hurting him when you did something that you did not mean to cause him pain. Let your partner know that you are only human and made an error in judgment that you will not make again. Admitting that you made a mistake will help your partner to see you as vulnerable and increase the chances that he’ll forgive you.
Offer a sincere apology. Let your partner know that you are truly sorry for your mistake. Be open with your feelings and show him how much you care for him. Allow your partner to see your vulnerable side and to sense the sincerity in your voice. When a partner knows you’re sincerely sorry for your actions, he will be more willing to forgive you. Tell your partner how much you love him and show him that you truly seek his forgiveness. Don’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ and be done with the situation, let your partner know exactly why you are sorry. Hearing that someone feels bad for a wrong they have done makes it easier to forgive that person.
Explain to your partner what happened. If you have a reason for hurting your partner, tell him so. Let him know that you didn’t make a mistake because you weren’t thinking of his feelings, but rather explain to him what you WERE thinking when you made the mistake. Giving a good reason can help a loved one to forgive you. Be honest and factual when explaining your mistake so as to not patronize your partner or to infuriate him more. The idea is to be forgiven, not wrap yourself up in lies to look good. Just be completely honest and forward with your partner and forgiving you will be easier for him. A person who is honest and true is far more lovable than a partner who lies to get out of something they’ve done.
Allow your partner to question you. Asking questions about a situation that hurt your partner can help him to forgive what has happened. It may be difficult for you to sit and be questioned by your partner and may even make you feel like you’re being interrogated. But it’s important for your partner to have the answers he needs to start to forgive a mistake you made. Depending on the severity of the situation, your partner may need to questioned you again and again and hear the tone of your voice when you’re being questioned. Try hard to be patient and allow your partner the time he needs to question you. If you want forgiveness for something you have done it’s important to compromise and give your partner what he needs to heal.
Give your partner space and time. If your mistake was so bad that your partner cannot forgive you right away, he is probably going to need time to heal. Allow your partner the space he needs to think about the situation and figure out his own solution. Often times, people need time on their own to straighten out their thoughts and discover how they really feel about something that has happened. By not smothering your partner, you give him time to deal with the problem in his own way and learn to heal from the mistake you made. Don’t bother your partner for an answer on his forgiveness. Let him come to you when he has worked it out. Otherwise, you may be sorry about the answer you get if you push your partner to forgive you too soon.
