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A lot of arguments between parents  stem from disputes over money, the division of household responsibilities and the idea of the guy hanging out too much. But how much is too much? Understandably, your dude going out every night is a problem, especially if he’s neglecting his duties at home.

You would be surprised, though at how many guys catch holy hell for leaving the homestead every now and then. This isn’t fair at all. I think a dad should be allocated one day a week to get away from the house and here’s why.

Most people are wired to want some unobstructed playtime after long days of work. Just like moms, dads need time to themselves. They way most men enjoy that time is through activities like going to a game or hanging out with their homies at the club/bar. Yes, sometimes a it’s strip club. But that doesn’t mean he’s going to be scouring the landscape for new booty. In most cases, he’s  just blowing off the steam that would otherwise lead to a new booty hunt.

Ladies, it’s fine to set rules for the homies night out, but let’s keep it within reason. Checking in at home is not a problem, but not checking in every thirty minutes. Also, don’t assume that we’re out ogling women all the time. If you really knew what most men did on a rare night out, you’d probably be relieved.

The usual homies night out consists of drinking/smoking, talking s*** and eating stuff that’s bad for us. Even at a strip club, many of us become instant mathematicians calculating how much we can tip a dancer without throwing off the home budget. Strippers tend to avoid the cheapskates and can spot them a mile away.

There’s no sex in the champagne room for a guy needing to figure out how to explain three or four hundred bucks missing from the family stash. A regular club can be trickier since everyone is liquored up and can’t find an inhibition to save their ratchety lives.

The best advice I can give you is to know your dude and check-in according to his personality. Women are like Jedi masters when it comes to blocking a potentially messy situation with another women. They feel a disturbance in the Force and will call or text right before things get out of control. There’s nothing like an “I love you bae, I hope you’re having fun with the fellas” text to shut down any booze-fueled chemistry that might have flourished.

If you don’t agree with anything else I’ve said this far, here’s something you should think about – strip clubs and night clubs are nothing compared to the temptation of the average playground. Go off on your baby daddy for hanging out at night, but  meanwhile, there’s a group of bored young nannies and single moms at Club Monkey Bars. At the end of the day, being paranoid isn’t going to keep your baby’s father or husband on the straight and narrow. Giving him the space to sometimes fantasize about returning to his single, childless, twenty-year-old self without taking it too far will save you a lot more stress.

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Ladies, Let Your Man Get Out Sometimes was originally published on blackamericaweb.com

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