I am really confused. I have been married to my husband for a year and we have been together almost a three years.

Five months before we got married he moved out of our home and moved back with his mother. He told me he wasn’t ready to get married. Two weeks later, I find out that he has went back to his baby’s mother. I was devastated and mad as hell. Two months later we talked and ended up getting back together. A couple months after that we got married. I thought we were doing good.

We got married in August and I found out I was pregnant in January. Not exactly was I was planning on since I had started school again. With my pregnancy I became super sick because of my high blood pressure. Two months later my husband loses his job and I’m dumbfounded. Our relationship went from bad, because of my pregnancy, to worst, because of his job lost.

We talked many times about getting a divorce and getting on with our lives. During these last couple of months I have been in and out of the hospital with this pregnancy. Eventually, my husband got a job cutting hair. One day I went to get my tags for my car and I called him while I was in line and I didn’t get an answer, and he always answers when I call. I remember getting off the exit to go home and something told me to go check his job or his mom house to see if he was there. No he wasn’t. I went to his baby’s mother apartment and there is his car sitting there. I’m crying and calling him and got no answer. I decided to put him out. I had the spare key to his car and I took his car, brought it home and loaded it up.

I talked to his baby mother and I found out that they had been sleeping with each other since he lost his job in March. I just so happen to catch him that day. I’m confused on what to do. Of course he has begged and apologized. It’s November and my baby’s due and our lease is up our apartment. I’m on disability because of my pregnancy and money is small compared to what I made before getting pregnant. He says that he doesn’t want a divorce and he was sorry and it won’t happen again.  I’m on my last straw, the last days of my pregnancy and lease for our apartment. What should I do? We have already gone through counseling. – Stay Or Try Again

“He Won’t Introduce Me To His Family & He Disappears On Our Date Night”

Dear Ms. Stay Or Try Again,

Let the lease run out. Move your things out. Leave him. Get a divorce and move on with your life. See how easy that is!

Chile, I swear the common sense gene is rare the days. Your fool damn self is over there listening to that man as he tells you that he doesn’t want a divorce and he’s sorry and it won’t happen again, yet he keeps sleeping with his baby momma. LMBAO! Girl, hop on one leg and pat yourself on the head if you believe that.

Your husband is deceitful, manipulative, trifling, and a liar. He’s cheated on you several times, even during your pregnancy, and you caught him, yet you’re asking me what to do. Sigh! This is the classic case of, “Even though he told me he didn’t want to get married, I didn’t care what he wanted because I wanted to be married, and besides, I LOVE HIM!” Thus, when –ish hits the fan, i.e., He cheats on you, then you want to get all up in a huff because, “How dare he sleep with another woman and we’re married.”

Uhm, sorry boo boo, you may have had the pomp and circumstance of a wedding with all your friends and family present, the flower girl, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the thousands of dollars spent on feeding all those damn people, however while you were standing in your off-brand knock-off Vera Wang dress looking starry-eyed professing your vows of marriage, he was lost in space thinking to himself, “How the hell did I end up here? And, which one of these chicks I’m going to bang in the back room.”

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times in letters to women like you in this situation: When someone tells you who they are, believe them. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If someone tells you they don’t want to be in a relationship, then guess what? They don’t want to be in a relationship with you either. And, if someone tells you they don’t want to get married, then guess what? Say it with me class: THEY DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED, AND NOT TO YOU EITHER.

Why are you holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held? Why make someone commit to you and they are not ready to commit to themselves? If he isn’t ready to commit to marriage or a relationship, then you get exactly what you deserve. He won’t commit to you or anyone else, so he’ll keep sleeping with you and his baby momma because the both of you are silly ass broads who keep letting him lay between your legs and in your small ass heads. You thirsty ass chicks wear me so thin! You’ll rather have a piece of man, who keeps showing you who he is with his trifling cheating ways, and yet you keep running behind him trying to convince him to love you, and that you need him. And, this MoFo doesn’t give a “F” about you! Stop perching your lips and drinking from these men’s nut sacs!

Now, guess what’s going to happen? You’re going to be baby momma number two. He’s going to get back into a relationship with his first baby momma. You two women are going to end up arguing and fighting over this bum ass dude who cuts hair and can’t afford to pay child support. And, even though he’s the problem in the equation and cheating and sleeping with the both of you, the two of you are going to fight and brawl with each other like two chicken heads fighting for scraps of d**k meat. SMDH! Then, he’s going to tell you how much he loves you and misses you and you’re going to believe him and spread your legs wide open for him, again. Which means he’s sticking the both of you raw, i.e. Sharing community d**k. And, you two aren’t the only women he’s running up in. Trust me, there is a third and fourth chick out there somewhere. Probably in the same apartment complex as you, and his baby momma. And, guess what’s going to happen? All of y’all are going to end up pregnant at the same time. Chile, I should put my psychic abilities to better use. LMBAO!

Look, Ms. Honey, chalk this up as a lesson learned. And, I mean take a good look at yourself, how you played a part in all of this, and how you should start listening to what someone says to you, as well as what they are doing. Pay attention. If someone tells you they don’t want to be married, then listen to them. Stop trying to make someone be with you for the sake of what you want. You can’t make someone love you, be with you, or marry you if they don’t want to be. He’s shown you time and time again who he is. He doesn’t want to be faithful or monogamous. He wants to have it all. Leave his ass. Get the divorce. Get the alimony, what little his broke ass has. And, put his ass on child support payments. Stop letting him belittle and demean you. Ugh! Now, get your life together and stop stressing because the innocent child you’re carrying doesn’t deserve all this madness coming into the world. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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1.Playing, Talking Or living Your Life Solely Based On Video Games
There’s a thin line between fun and loser-ville. Most men are a little childish at heart, and sometimes that’s kind of a turn on. Lines get blurry when you ask me for ”Me time,” with call of duty or Xbox love making.  I have met too many guys who care more about the new XBOX games, than what’s going on in the real world. Wake up guys, you are a big boy now with big boy bills and problems. It’s ok to play video games once and a while, but if my Friday and Saturday nights are filled with shoot ‘em up games…Maybe I should be with someone else.

2.Not Doing Enough Around The House
Washing dishes, laundry and cooking, are no longer just women’s duties. We live in a time where both men and women have to work in order to maintain a proper household income. So if I work just as many hours as you do, what makes you think that the household is solely my responsibility? Stop expecting women to be superheroes and clean up after yourselves.

“My Man Is Emotionally & Mentally Abusive And I Want A Divorce”

3.Not Messaging Us Back
By us I mean women. Whether its texting, bbm, aim or email, playing cat and mouse gets a little old. We may play along for a little while, but when it gets to be continuous , you may find that your lady friend is interested in someone else.

4.Having A Constant Tough Guy Persona
Don’t get me wrong, every woman wants a strong man. Being manly isn’t a crime! When we go out and you yell at every single person we encounter for no reason, then you may be crossing the border from manly to scary. So relax, don’t be a big bully and stop putting on an act.

5.Not Eating Right
Believe it or not, a proper diet consists of more than meats and carbohydrates. Men want their women to look like super models, but yet your belly hangs over your privates. Not sexy! So try fitting a salad or two into your day. The change in your health will amaze you.

6. Only Saying Sorry, When She Says You Should
I can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve witness in public, where this happens: She says “And you didn’t even say you’re sorry,” and the man says,” Well you know I am!” These half a** apologies are useless in my book. You’re not a kid anymore and you should know when you’re wrong. So suck it up and say the words.

7. Using Cat Calls, To Try And Pick Up Women
There is nothing more annoying than a man who thinks whistling or saying disrespectful comments will land him a girlfriend. It’s stupid and shows that you have nothing on your mind but sex. Yes, some not so special women may fall for it, but for those of us who can’t stand it; you should consider revamping your style of pick up lines.

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8.Talking About Our Sex Life With Your Friends
This has got to be the worse thing a man can do. Your friends don’t need to know what positions we do during sex. Nor do they need to know how much of a freak I am. Men don’t respect women when they hear things like this. So do the world a favor and keep it to yourself.

9. Blaming The World For Not Having A Job
Yes, we are in a recession. Yes, Presidents and many other’s have lead us into this current state of unemployment rates. Do you really think this is a good excuse to sit on your butt and collect a check? I hear so many men saying “Oh the man is keeping me down,” or “It’s all Bush’s fault.”  That sounds like blah,blah,blah to me! Mickey D’s is always hiring. Sometimes you have to humble yourself to make ends meet. Also, don’t give up, keep searching and applying. You should spend about three hours a day applying for jobs.

10. Paying More Attention To Your Phone, Than Me
The attachments we have to these cell phones are crazy nowadays. If your wife or girlfriend has to fight for your attention because you are texting your friends, then you may have a problem. Communication is key in any relationship. Unless you’re a doctor or the President of the United States, there is no need to be glued to your phone. Try turning off your phone as soon as you get home. This will free up your time to focus more on your family and loved ones.

11.Ignoring Your Children
Ok, if you stick it in, without a raincoat, the end result is most likely a baby. So that 45 second muscle spasm, is worth 18 years of child support and quality time. So grow up and take care of your children. No excuses, no return fee, they are here to stay and you should be a man about it.

1.Playing, Talking Or living Your Life Solely Base On Video Games
There’s a thin line between fun and loser-ville. Most men are a little childish at heart, and sometimes that’s kind of a turn on. When those lines get blurry and you ask me for ” you time” with call of duty or Xbox love making, instead of taking me out; then we have a problem. I have met too many guys who care more about the new XBOX games than what’s going on in the real world. Wake up guys, you are a big boy now with big boy bills and problems. Its ok to play video games once and a while, but if my Friday and Saturday nights are filled with shot them up games…Maybe I should be with someone else.

2.Not Doing Enough Around The House
Washing dishes, laundry and cooking, are no longer just women’s duties. We live in a time where both men and women have to work in order to maintain a proper net worth. So if I work just as many hours as you, what makes you think that the household is solely my responsibility? Stop expecting women to be superheroes and clean up after yourself.

“My Man Is Emotionally & Mentally Abusive And I Want A Divorce”

3.Not Messaging Us Back
By us, I mean women. Whether its texting, bbm, aim or email, playing cat and mouse gets a little old. We may play along for a little while but when it gets to be a constant, you may find that your lady friend is interested in someone else.

4.Having A Constant Tough Guy Personal
Don’t get me wrong; every woman wants a strong man. Being manly isn’t a crime! When we go out and you yell at every single person we encounter, even if they didn’t offend your manly pride, then you may be crossing the border of being manly to scary. So relax, don’t be a big bully and stop putting on an act.

5.Not Eating Right
Believe or not, a proper diet consists of more than meats and carbohydrates. Men want their women to look like super models, but yet your belly hangs over your privates. Not sexy! So try fitting a salad or two into your day. The change in your health will amaze you.

6. Only Saying Sorry, When She Says You Should
I can’t tell you how many arguments I’ve witness in public, where this happens: She says “And you didn’t even say you’re sorry,” and the man says,” Well you know I am!” These half a** apologies are useless in my book. You’re not a kid anymore and you should know when your wrong. So suck it up and say the words.

7. Using Cat Calls, To Try And Pick Up Women
There is nothing more annoying than a man who thinks whistling or saying disrespectful comments will land him a girlfriend. It’s stupid and shows that you have nothing on your mind but sex. Yes, some not so special women may fall for it, but for those of us who can’t stand it; you should consider revamping your style of pick up lines.

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8.Talking About Our Sex Life With Your Friends
This has got to be the worse thing a man can do. Your friends don’t need to know what positions we do during sex, nor do they need to know how much of a freak I am. Men tend to not respect women when they hear things like this. So do the world a favor and keep it to yourself.

9. Blaming The World For Not Having A Job
Yes, we are in a recession. Yes, Presidents and many men before them have leaded us into this current state of unemployment rates. Do you really think this is a good excuse to sit on your butt and collect a check? I hear so many men saying “oh the man is keeping me down,” or its all Bush’s fought. That sounds like blah,blah,blah to me! Mickey D’s is always hiring and I feel like until that next big thing comes around, sometimes you have to humble yourself to make ends meat. Also, don’t give up, keep searching and applying. You should spend about three hours a day applying for jobs.

10. Paying More Attention To Your Phone, Than Me
The attachments we have to these cell phones are crazy nowadays. If your wife or girlfriend has to fight for your attention because you are texting your friend, then you may have a problem. Communication is key in any relationship. Unless you’re a doctor or the president of the United States, there is no need to be glued to your phone. Try turning off your phone as soon as you get home. This will free up your time to focus more on your family and love ones.

11.Ignoring Your Children
Ok, if you stick it in, without a raincoat, the end result is most likely a baby. So that 45 second muscle spasm, is worth 18 years of child support and quality time. So grow up and take care of your children. No excuses, no return fee, they are here to stay and you should be a man about it.

ione-gallery id=”188121″ src=”http://hellobeautiful.com”]

The little things

If we go out of our way to make the trip to the grocery store on the other side of town because they are the only ones who sell red potatoes, and we know how much you love red potatoes, then we will be damned if you do not notice it. In fact you better not only notice it, but appreciate it and be willing to reciprocate it as well. You also need to lick the plate when you are done.

We remembered that favorite piece of clothing that you like

Women pay attention to their men. We pay attention to his likes and dislikes. Especially when it comes to our clothing. If we are wearing a piece of clothing that we notice you find attractive on us,  but we could probably care less about; a woman will still go out of her way to wear that piece of clothing again. “Never mind that this thong that you love me wearing has been riding up my crotch all evening. It is all about you this evening dear”.

5 Rules To Follow When Breaking Up With Someone

The Effort to Understand You

If you are a complicated man by nature and we choose to still accept you and love you wholeheartedly, then we expect you to appreciate it. Especially for those men who are aware of their obscure personalities. When a woman makes a genuine effort to not only accept the man they are with but to understand him as well, then that is a piece of her that she is leaving with you and she is showing how committed she truly is. The extra effort in being patient enough to take a special interest in you should not be trivialized as most women do not invoke this effort into every single man they ever date.

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Sex

Sex should never be seen as a chore or a job but it is also not a mandatory activity. In other words, although some men feel that it is the woman’s responsibility to always be pleasing to the man, it truly is not. She is the keeper of her body. So when your woman agrees to please you, even if she herself is tired or not in the mood, every man reading this should be appreciative. In fact it works both ways. A woman is not entitled to sex at her demand from her man either. Both parties should be appreciative and mindful of the partner’s feelings in going the” extra mile”.

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It is approaching November and their children do not even have a winter coat; yet  none of these situations are a priority to them.  You would think that they would be on their hustle trying to find a job, or handle their business so that their children can eat. Instead their priority is concerning themselves with either finding a man, keeping a man, or worrying about a man.

Unfortunately, in many situations said man is unable to even assist them in any way to provide them or their children with any of those much needed basic commodities.  But it does not matter to some of these women. You see, they are just happy to simply have a man in their presence. “Well at least he is around” is their motto. You know who you are ladies… Tisk-Tisk. Ladies, I’m sure you have met at least one woman like this.

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Let me be clear, I am not talking about women who are married or in successful relationships. I expect these women to take care of their home, especially if the men they are with are on their A-game. The women I am speaking to are the ones whose own life is in a turmoil yet this is not a priority to them. Instead, the priority falls in them finding a man or chasing after a man.  With everything in life, there should be a healthy balance. Even in love.

Newsflash: Having A man is not the solution to all of the problems of your life. Nor should it ever be.

It brings me to a boiling point when I see women allowing their lives to crumble around them and these situations that impact their life the most are the least of their worries. Instead, chasing after a man that has… To Read The Rest Go To YeahSheSaidIt

Are Single People Really Happier?

How he treats his mom, sisters and other women in his life

It is important to watch how the man you are dating interacts with other women in his life like his mother, sisters, etc.. These are the women who have been in his life for years and should be the most important women to him. So if he mistreats them consistently then chances are that he will not treat the woman he is dating much better.

Does he listen?

Whether or not the man we are dating listens when we speak is important to women. Women want to feel an emotional connection to the men we are dating. The lack of one can deplete our interest in him. This emotional connection stems from how he interacts with us during conversations. If a man does not listen when we speak then a woman assumes that he does not care about how we feel, our emotions or even us personally. This may not be his intentions when he does not listen but this is how his inattentiveness can make a woman react and feel.

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How he handles his own business, paying bills

A smart woman should pay attention to how a man handles his business, such as his bills, jobs etc.. Especially if she has any intentions on building a future and having a family with him. How he handles his own business could lend itself to the manner in which he will handle important family matters that will affect him and you in the future.

His interaction with kids

If the man you are dating already has children by another woman, please pay attention to how he treats them, and interacts with them. This is especially important if you ever want to have children with your partner. Do not fall for the misconception that if you have kids with him he will treat them differently. Don’t assume that your kids will be somehow be more special to him and suddenly his “daddy button” will flip on.

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Moving In With Your Boyfriend: How Soon Is Too Soon?

In fact some believe that there are absolutely no benefits to a man getting married. I disagree. I think that the right woman can bring happiness to a man’s life. The right woman can also be a positive life changing advantage for a man. Marriage is not the cure all to all problems between men and women or in life in general but some issues might lessen depending on whether or not you choose the right partner. Please keep in mind that I am emphasizing on you choosing the right partner that compliments you and more importantly the man being ready in every way for marriage. Here are a few reasons why marriage does benefit men as well as women. Guys may not want to hear these reasons but you have to admit that there is validity to these points..

1. Sex

If they let it and are ready, marriage can tame a man’s overt sexual desires. That is given that they are willing to be loyal to their wife in every way. This decision can prevent unnecessary drama with various women in their lives which might include sexual transmitted diseases, illegitimate children, and the infamous baby mama drama that all men claim that they abhor. The threat of the itching and burning sensation on the genitalia would be enough for me.

2. Make Me Better

The right woman can make a man want to mature and be a better person. Her presence in his life can also lead him to want to do better in life and want more out of life. Not just for her but for his sake as well and the possibility of them growing together. Love can encourage some to leave certain self destructive lifestyles alone for the sake of the betterment of their family and partner. A failed example of this would be the lovely couple T.I. and Tiny. Unfortunately she does not seem to have any influence on him and encouraging his positive lifestyle choices for his families sake. I’m not hating on them. It is just an observation. If she was I would give her kudos. It is what it is. Of course the man has to be receptive to her.

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3. Responsibility

Even though some men gripe about having responsibilities due to marriage, it is needed. Sometimes marriage makes men mature and grow into men that they would not otherwise become if they only had themselves to consider for the rest of their lives. It can make them realize what is truly important in life and make the necessary changes in becoming the man that they were meant to be….To Read The Rest To YeahSheSaidIt

“If They Say I’m A Good Woman, Then Why Can’t I Find A Man!”

This is how you determine whether or not you even want this person in your life in any capacity. However there are certain things that might distract from the light heartedness of the date if they are a focus.

1. Ex- You would think that this one would be obvious but there are many who are unable to distinguish as to the proper time to open up about drama with your ex. The best plan is that if you are not asked about past relationships then do not bring them up. It opens the door for you to go on and on about past drama and gives the possible appearance that you are not yet over it. Or even worse, that you are bitter. No one wants to deal with a bitter man or woman.

2. Debt- The first date conversation should be light. No one wants to hear about your ‘oh woe it’s me’ overwhelming debt so soon. At this point it is not the other person’s problem or concern. They are more interested in getting to know you first. They could care less about your student loan issue.

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3. Family problems/drama- Similar to debt, telling all about your family drama could be an immediate turn off. Not everyone is sympathetic to you having “mommy issues” or hating your older brother. Discussion of problems like these could overwhelm your date. It is best to wait until you determine that this person will be in your life for an extended period of time  or is worthy of your time before you share your inner demons and heartfelt secrets with them.

4. Sex- Unless that is the direction that you both have agreed that you are headed to at the end of the date, there is not need for there to be constant discussions of sex. Fellas this include details about the girth, length, and awesome functionality of your penis. Leave some element of surprise.

5. Medical Issues- Unless its HIV/AIDS or something that might be transferable to this person on the same night of the date, there is not reason why your medical history and issues should be shared so soon.

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How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

It is the one of the age old debates between men and women. What roles, if any do women versus men play when being sexually harassed by men? This question is being brought up in the case of the NY Jets. Recently  Ines Sainz, a reporter for Mexico’s TV Azteca was doing a story on quarterback Mark Sanchez. She claims that while she was in the locker room, other teammates purposely threw the football around her so that another team mate could check out her butt. (The photo above Sianz claims is similar to the outfit she wore on the day of the harassment. )

Immediately I jumped to the defense of this reporter who no doubt was trying to do her job and deserves the respect and professionalism that she was giving in return. Until I saw an actual picture of what she was said to have worn that day. Which was a pair of skin tight jeans that accentuated her curves.  Which made me rethink my stance. All parties involved are to blame. Although she may be less to blame, by now she should have an idea that many of these football players are spoiled, rich men who are used to getting any woman that they want. Why give them more of a reason to look at you like a disposable piece of meat? When they get in packs this mentality only intensifies. For that, I feel as though her outfit may have been inappropriate for the particular setting.

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Granted, a woman is entitled to wear what she pleases but at what point should common sense play a role in her attire decisions? To me it is similar to walking down a dark alley, late at night, alone and other women have been previously raped down that same path. Instead of staying on the bright lit public street.  Sure you should be able to walk down any alley, any street, at any time of the day or night and no one has the right to harass you in any way. But if you know that there is clear and present danger there then why set yourself up for disaster? At what point does my actions play a role in my danger? So while I stand firm with the principle that a woman is entitled to wear what she wants, I also have to request that she exercise a bit of common sense and reality into the mix.

Of course I also think that if this story is true then the players should also be accountable for their behavior as well.  They should be required to exercise self control in all situations. Saying that, at what point do both parties have to take responsibility for their actions when it comes to some situations of harassment? The football players for their brute immaturity and lack of respect and the Reporter for her lapse in judgment? Or should the women never have any responsibility in these situations?

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Montana Fishburne Seeking Inpatient Professional Help

I had a conversation with my Mother recently and she told me that she has noticed that many women of today do not appreciate when a man does little things for them. Such as hold the door open when he sees them approaching an entrance, pull out a chair and other shows of etiquette. These are things that are dying as the generations go on. She went on to say that some women are almost annoyed or appalled when a man does do these things.

I had to check myself and think about whether or not I always say thank you every time a man, whether I know him or not, holds a door open for me.  You know what? I agree with her. Some women have lost their appreciativeness for a man that is a gentleman. We barely utter the words thank you to them for showing these acts of kindness.

There are a few reasons why I think this is occurring. One being that there are less men who subscribe to these rules of etiquette so when the men do perform these gentleman like acts, it goes over the average woman’s head who has not been taught to expect this type of treatment. We have been deprogrammed and no longer expect for a man to behave in this way. So when he does, some women do not know how to respond to it.

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The second being that women of this generation have been taught to be independent and to lessen a need to depend on a man in their lives. So, this type of thinking puts women in the mind state that you can do all things on your own. Sometimes this type of thinking is necessary for some women who are living life without a special man in their life but at the same time it makes the need for him null and void. So when a man does open the door for us we are almost annoyed. We assume that he thinks we cannot do it ourselves or are incapable.

I have to admit that I even have felt slightly annoyed on more than one occasion when a strange man opened the door for me in a public place. As I reached for the handle he stops me and proceeds to open the door for me. My initial thought has been what is wrong with him? Again, I sometimes have to check myself and realize that there is nothing wrong with him being a gentleman and that I should expect this from him whether I know him or not. Maybe if more women not only expected it but demanded it then more men would fall into this behavior naturally.

Have we lost all of our rules of etiquette when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex?

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Black Women Are The Most Ignored Race On Dating Sites