It is said that love conquers all, but marrying a corpse may present a LOTTA challenges. This story is drawing mixed reactions worldwide.

A Thai television director’s decision to marry his dead girlfriend and post photos and video of the event to Facebook and YouTube is drawing mixed reaction from the public. Chadil Deffy, also known as Deff Yingyuen, married his girlfriend of 10 years, Sarinya “Anne” Kamsook, early this month as she lay in a coffin in a wedding-cum-funeral at a temple in Surin Province

The couple met while studying at Eastern Asia University 10 years ago and had planned to get married for a while but Kamsook died in a car accident on Jan. 3, according to media reports. She was 29.

A friend said Deffy was heartbroken and “wasn’t thinking about the possibility of fame when he decided to put a ring on her cold finger. He merely wanted to make things right, however small or inadequate the gesture might seem.”

It is either the weirdest fetish ever or the grandest gesture of love ever…it all depends on how you wanna look at it. It’s definitely strange love though, no question about that.

Source: MSN

If his style was one of the reasons you broke up, check out these tips

#1.-What about you has changed that will allow this to work now? Accepting the role that you played in the breakup is the absolute first order of business in getting back with your ex. If you don’t believe that you had anything to do with the breakup then you are still in a state of denial and it will never work.  What have you learned from the breakup that has allowed you to evolve? Have you sought any outside help form a non-biased third party to process the end of the breakup and to better yourself?  Realistically, you are responsible only for yourself – your personal growth.  Although we like to think that we can change others, we can only change ourselves. Whether or not you get your ex back, becoming a better version of you will prepare you for your next relationship.

#2.-What about your ex has changed that will allow this to work now? This may be a little tricky because your ex can tell you anything to get you back but you need to have some type of proof that he/she has changed the necessary elements to make it work again. Since you only have the ability to change yourself, you have to really get in-tune with your instincts to “feel” your way through this. How has your ex changed? How do you know that to be true? Are you positive? The problem here is that your judgment can be foggy after a break up, your desire to be reunited with your ex may distort your view of what is real.  So the greater question here is: Are you willing to accept you ex presently “As-Is?”

#3.-What exactly went wrong? Creating lasting relationships can be a daunting task. Although there are countless courses, workshops, retreats, seminars and books (including mine) on cultivating and maintaining relationships, there are no absolutes in what makes relationships work. Sifting through the gunk to reveal the roots that caused the split will assist you in repairing the broken connections. Without fail, if you never get to the real issues then you will not be able to maintain the relationship because the issues will eventually resurface.

#4.-Is it worth the bother? Let’s face it, if you are planning to reunite with your ex then it is going to take a great deal of individual and couples work to make this go-round a success. Are you ready to confront the causes of the breakup head on? When we are wildly passionate about someone who we just can’t envision our lives without then by all means – DO THE WORK! But if you are at all hesitant about the time, effort and necessary compromise to make it work then you have to evaluate; is it worth the bother?

#5.-Is there equal willingness to put forth the effort? If you are entertaining the idea of getting back with your ex then it should go without question that you are more than willing to roll up your sleeves and get dirty (in a good way) to  make this time better than the last. A good relationship takes two people but an amazing relationship takes two people who are equally willing and committed to making it so. If you find yourself alone in seeking out resources and putting in the hard knuckled efforts then you are not on a level playing field with your ex and you should alarmed. In order to restore a failed relationship both parties must be actively involved in the process.

Be with who you are crazy about. No need in dragging someone else into your emotional web if you are still longing to be with your ex, but you’ve got to be smart about it. If you have not carefully assessed why the relationship failed, what your involvement was, how you have improved as an individual, how your ex has changed and obtained the necessary tools to make getting back together a realistic option, then you have to re-evaluate where you currently are in comparison to where you want to be.

Good Luck!

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I am really confused. I have been married to my husband for a year and we have been together almost a three years.

Five months before we got married he moved out of our home and moved back with his mother. He told me he wasn’t ready to get married. Two weeks later, I find out that he has went back to his baby’s mother. I was devastated and mad as hell. Two months later we talked and ended up getting back together. A couple months after that we got married. I thought we were doing good.

We got married in August and I found out I was pregnant in January. Not exactly was I was planning on since I had started school again. With my pregnancy I became super sick because of my high blood pressure. Two months later my husband loses his job and I’m dumbfounded. Our relationship went from bad, because of my pregnancy, to worst, because of his job lost.

We talked many times about getting a divorce and getting on with our lives. During these last couple of months I have been in and out of the hospital with this pregnancy. Eventually, my husband got a job cutting hair. One day I went to get my tags for my car and I called him while I was in line and I didn’t get an answer, and he always answers when I call. I remember getting off the exit to go home and something told me to go check his job or his mom house to see if he was there. No he wasn’t. I went to his baby’s mother apartment and there is his car sitting there. I’m crying and calling him and got no answer. I decided to put him out. I had the spare key to his car and I took his car, brought it home and loaded it up.

I talked to his baby mother and I found out that they had been sleeping with each other since he lost his job in March. I just so happen to catch him that day. I’m confused on what to do. Of course he has begged and apologized. It’s November and my baby’s due and our lease is up our apartment. I’m on disability because of my pregnancy and money is small compared to what I made before getting pregnant. He says that he doesn’t want a divorce and he was sorry and it won’t happen again.  I’m on my last straw, the last days of my pregnancy and lease for our apartment. What should I do? We have already gone through counseling. – Stay Or Try Again

“He Won’t Introduce Me To His Family & He Disappears On Our Date Night”

Dear Ms. Stay Or Try Again,

Let the lease run out. Move your things out. Leave him. Get a divorce and move on with your life. See how easy that is!

Chile, I swear the common sense gene is rare the days. Your fool damn self is over there listening to that man as he tells you that he doesn’t want a divorce and he’s sorry and it won’t happen again, yet he keeps sleeping with his baby momma. LMBAO! Girl, hop on one leg and pat yourself on the head if you believe that.

Your husband is deceitful, manipulative, trifling, and a liar. He’s cheated on you several times, even during your pregnancy, and you caught him, yet you’re asking me what to do. Sigh! This is the classic case of, “Even though he told me he didn’t want to get married, I didn’t care what he wanted because I wanted to be married, and besides, I LOVE HIM!” Thus, when –ish hits the fan, i.e., He cheats on you, then you want to get all up in a huff because, “How dare he sleep with another woman and we’re married.”

Uhm, sorry boo boo, you may have had the pomp and circumstance of a wedding with all your friends and family present, the flower girl, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the thousands of dollars spent on feeding all those damn people, however while you were standing in your off-brand knock-off Vera Wang dress looking starry-eyed professing your vows of marriage, he was lost in space thinking to himself, “How the hell did I end up here? And, which one of these chicks I’m going to bang in the back room.”

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times in letters to women like you in this situation: When someone tells you who they are, believe them. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. If someone tells you they don’t want to be in a relationship, then guess what? They don’t want to be in a relationship with you either. And, if someone tells you they don’t want to get married, then guess what? Say it with me class: THEY DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED, AND NOT TO YOU EITHER.

Why are you holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held? Why make someone commit to you and they are not ready to commit to themselves? If he isn’t ready to commit to marriage or a relationship, then you get exactly what you deserve. He won’t commit to you or anyone else, so he’ll keep sleeping with you and his baby momma because the both of you are silly ass broads who keep letting him lay between your legs and in your small ass heads. You thirsty ass chicks wear me so thin! You’ll rather have a piece of man, who keeps showing you who he is with his trifling cheating ways, and yet you keep running behind him trying to convince him to love you, and that you need him. And, this MoFo doesn’t give a “F” about you! Stop perching your lips and drinking from these men’s nut sacs!

Now, guess what’s going to happen? You’re going to be baby momma number two. He’s going to get back into a relationship with his first baby momma. You two women are going to end up arguing and fighting over this bum ass dude who cuts hair and can’t afford to pay child support. And, even though he’s the problem in the equation and cheating and sleeping with the both of you, the two of you are going to fight and brawl with each other like two chicken heads fighting for scraps of d**k meat. SMDH! Then, he’s going to tell you how much he loves you and misses you and you’re going to believe him and spread your legs wide open for him, again. Which means he’s sticking the both of you raw, i.e. Sharing community d**k. And, you two aren’t the only women he’s running up in. Trust me, there is a third and fourth chick out there somewhere. Probably in the same apartment complex as you, and his baby momma. And, guess what’s going to happen? All of y’all are going to end up pregnant at the same time. Chile, I should put my psychic abilities to better use. LMBAO!

Look, Ms. Honey, chalk this up as a lesson learned. And, I mean take a good look at yourself, how you played a part in all of this, and how you should start listening to what someone says to you, as well as what they are doing. Pay attention. If someone tells you they don’t want to be married, then listen to them. Stop trying to make someone be with you for the sake of what you want. You can’t make someone love you, be with you, or marry you if they don’t want to be. He’s shown you time and time again who he is. He doesn’t want to be faithful or monogamous. He wants to have it all. Leave his ass. Get the divorce. Get the alimony, what little his broke ass has. And, put his ass on child support payments. Stop letting him belittle and demean you. Ugh! Now, get your life together and stop stressing because the innocent child you’re carrying doesn’t deserve all this madness coming into the world. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

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I have a long and very bad habit of turning my guy friends into my boyfriends. In fact, the longest and most serious boyfriend I’ve had began as my best friend. I mean, it seems perfectly natural and correct. People always say, ‘I married my best friend,’ so I guess I took that advice literally by dating my best friend. Our relationship was great because we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, but the down side is that, when you break up, you lose both a boyfriend and a best friend in one fell swoop.

I have great resources for this conundrum: my friends – that is, my dear girlfriends and the guys I haven’t dated (yet) – are still my friends. And I have found that the general consensus is that girls think that men and women can be friends, but guys don’t. Most of my guy friends admitted to me that they have thought about sleeping with almost every female friend they have, or used friendship as a tool to get closer to the girl in hopes of turning their friendship into more. One comment by a friend, who is literally the real-life version of Samantha from Sex and the City, said, “Men are for f***ing and women are for friendships.”

That comment blew me away because, in a lot of ways, it’s a very raw and honest statement. However, it then it occurred to me that eventually all of that intense passion and sexual lust you feel for your man will dissipate, but the unyielding bond of friendship is what really lasts. Because, at the end of the day, you just want to be with one who makes you laugh.

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Recently, I was in a conversation with a sistah and her fiancé. They are moderately upscale, professional, college educated, upper-middle class savvy socialites and overall, a cool pair to hang out with. While sipping on cocktails at an über-chic bar, the topic of self-care and taking care of your mate came up. She was looking for a spa to get a massage and he so lovingly chimed in “I tried to give her a massage but she said that it sucked.”  I gasped and my jaw dropped, then we all laughed – but I was seriously astonished that she would tell him that. Here she had a man, who is easy on the eyes, fun hearted, the sole and generous household financier (including her not working, countless vacations and unlimited spa visits), willing to give her a massage when the spa is not in operation. When she saw my reaction, she defended her statement with typical black girl sass, affirming that he can’t properly work out the kinks and that his hands feel like “sandpaper.” He’s no wimpy guy, and although you could clearly see his embarrassment with her statements he has a lot of class and didn’t want engage in a debate with her.

Sadly, that is only one of many times that I’ve heard some really dim-witted statements usually intended to verbally assault,  ridicule, denigrate and humiliate another person all in the name of “keeping it real.” In the context of relationships, there are much kinder ways to handle your partner without telling a mistruth. In the above mentioned scenario, when it was suggested that she could ease the blow and spare her fiancé his humility by simply saying “…baby, I appreciate how you try to rub out my kinks but these knots need a professional” she replied with a nonchalant, “I’m just being honest” – and continued on assertively in defense of her position. Do we have to be so harsh with our mates to be honest? It could have been better received if delivered in a more lovingly fashion.

I sometimes think that African American women get a bad rap for being abrasive, hyper-antagonistic and attitudinal, habitually on the war path, and belligerent. Heck, I’m an African American woman and I don’t like being pre-judged by that low-level set of qualities. However, I do believe that there are improvements that we can make on a whole that can possibly soften our edge and level out the playing field. It is far beyond time that we get past the notion of telling it like it is; including the finger snapping, eyes rolling, lips smacking, head twirling, hand-in-your-face delivery. Telling someone the truth, especially someone who you claim to love doesn’t mean you have to give raw heartless truth.

“I’m just being honest”, “I’m keeping it real” and “you know I keep it 100” are copouts for throwing hate (personal none-the-less), shade and negativity unto others in disguise. If you really want to be honest then I recommend that you handle others with the same respect, honor and compassion that you want to be handled with.

Level up!

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Typically, the balance of power in any relationship is dominated by the person who brings home the biggest slab of bacon – the one who makes the most money rules. In most scenarios, the person who earns the most money has the power and their spouse/partner is often reluctant to voice and discouraged from any opinion that conflicts with the ‘powerful’ person. It is only in extremely rare cases that the person who has the money doesn’t feel the need to sling around their power where true balance can be achieved, that this type of dynamic works well for both parties. Pulling the purse strings in order to manipulate your partner is shallow. You should never demean, berate or disempower your partner by throwing around your power like King D*ck Willie – it’s a recipe for disaster.

Ideally, healthy and thriving relationships need to be more of an even partnership, and a disparity in power is often not conducive to relationships that are high-quality, vigorous, and stable. Recently, J-Lo and Marc Anthony split and it is rumored that J-Lo has stated that he was overly controlling. When two people are more evenly yoked in financial assets then the power scale balances out and if both parties are not in a clear mental space of equality then the struggle can get even tougher.

If your relationships are woven with integrity and each person is valued for whatever they bring to the relationship, then falling into the ‘power trap’ won’t ever become an issue.  It is when one involved party is viewed as the lesser, based on financial attributes, that the imbalance presents itself and power struggles arise. If, as a couple you can mutually agree that there will be differences in contributions but that the total sum of you together is what makes the relationship tick, then you may be able to escape the pitfalls of POWER. It is simply not healthy for one person in the relationship to feel like they ‘owe’ or are ‘owed’ for financial contributions made by the other for the good of the relationship.

Creating relationships where both of your opinions matter and everyone is valued is paramount to creating lasting relationships.  There will always be varying power dynamics but for the most part, a healthy balance can be created with a little respect, appreciation and compromise. Having power over your partner is never a good idea but having the power to choose how you want to treat your partner is a beautiful thing.

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5. Change your hairstyle. A simple change to that same hairstyle that you’ve been sporting for umpteen years could not only boost your self-esteem but enhance your attitude as well. A dramatic cut, a brighter color or highlights, or even a new wig/weave could unleash your inner diva.

4. Take yourself shopping. “Out with the old and in with the new.” During a time when it is so easy to fall into that cold black hole known as depression can very well be avoided if you will yourself to get out of the bed and get out of those frumpy long johns and go indulge and spend some “me” time. Hit the mall and splurge on at least one thing you’ve been wanting for yourself, trust me it can make you feel a lot better.Warning: This can only be beneficial when done in moderation and with the strong use of self-control, or else you could find yourself in a deeper hole of depression.

3. Make goals for yourself. Make goals for yourself so you can see what it is that you want and make it a point to meet those goals. It is important to keep yourself busy if you want to avoid thinking about him. Accomplish some of the things you’ve always wanted to accomplish in life. If you need to go back to school, go back to school, if you need to get your GED  do that, just remember this process is all about bettering yourself as a woman.

2. Create a bucket list. As I previously stated it is important to keep busy and not only that but this is the time to dedicate time to you. After being in a relationship for so long sometimes it can become easy for your needs and wants to fall by the wayside, and if this happened to you this is your time to take advantage of the time you lost and document all of the things you want to do before you die and complete them. By the time your next relationship comes around you’ll feel totally complete.

1. Hit the gym. *Cues Kanye West “Workout Plan”* There is no better feeling then for your ex to see you post break up looking in tip top shape. Not only does it make you feel good for your ex to see you in the best shape of your life but your friends as well. Sometimes the hardest thing to do after a break up is get your self-esteem back up, and the first step to do this is to work out and stay healthy.

Follow these 5 steps post break-up and you’ll be on your way to a fresher and better you!

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3.(1991) Prince made history on the MTV Video Music Awards with his classic yellow pants with the butt cheeks exposed for all to see. He gave new meaning to being assed out!

4.(1993) Prince changed his name to a damn symbol and was referred to as “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.” The symbol is actually the love symbol which is a combo of the symbols for male and female. Who knew? I sure as heck didn’t! Message!!

5.(2004) Prince appeared at the Grammy Awards with Beyonce in a phenomenal opening performance. I’m not sure who was the bigger diva between the two that night. Honestly, I think Prince took the cake.


6.(2011) This is the year of the foot. Prince is kicking ass off stage and out of his shows! First Kim Kardashian gets kicked off stage by your majesty, and then Whitney Houston got kicked out of his shows. Hey, what can you say? He refuses to allow anyone to make him look bad, and I don’t blame him one bit! He’s a pretty motha-shut-ya-mouth!

This Valentine’s Day, Michelle Obama was kind enough to offer up some advice to couples on keeping their romance alive. After all, she and Barack have been married for 19 years. “I think a lot of laughing.

I think in our house we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and laughter is the best form of unity, I think, in a marriage. So we still find ways to have fun together, and a lot of it is private and personal. But we keep each other smiling and that’s good.” She added that Barack is “very romantic.”

“He remembers dates, birthdays. He doesn’t forget a thing, even when I think he is. . I’ll have a little attitude. I give him a little attitude, but he always comes through,” he told Regis and Kelly last week. And like every woman, she considers jewelry the best gift. “You can’t go wrong,” she said. Read more here.

The little things

If we go out of our way to make the trip to the grocery store on the other side of town because they are the only ones who sell red potatoes, and we know how much you love red potatoes, then we will be damned if you do not notice it. In fact you better not only notice it, but appreciate it and be willing to reciprocate it as well. You also need to lick the plate when you are done.

We remembered that favorite piece of clothing that you like

Women pay attention to their men. We pay attention to his likes and dislikes. Especially when it comes to our clothing. If we are wearing a piece of clothing that we notice you find attractive on us,  but we could probably care less about; a woman will still go out of her way to wear that piece of clothing again. “Never mind that this thong that you love me wearing has been riding up my crotch all evening. It is all about you this evening dear”.

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The Effort to Understand You

If you are a complicated man by nature and we choose to still accept you and love you wholeheartedly, then we expect you to appreciate it. Especially for those men who are aware of their obscure personalities. When a woman makes a genuine effort to not only accept the man they are with but to understand him as well, then that is a piece of her that she is leaving with you and she is showing how committed she truly is. The extra effort in being patient enough to take a special interest in you should not be trivialized as most women do not invoke this effort into every single man they ever date.

Large Loop Back Cozy Sweater By Asos

Sex

Sex should never be seen as a chore or a job but it is also not a mandatory activity. In other words, although some men feel that it is the woman’s responsibility to always be pleasing to the man, it truly is not. She is the keeper of her body. So when your woman agrees to please you, even if she herself is tired or not in the mood, every man reading this should be appreciative. In fact it works both ways. A woman is not entitled to sex at her demand from her man either. Both parties should be appreciative and mindful of the partner’s feelings in going the” extra mile”.

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