It all began when a series of events led me to introduce two single friends, each from a separate corner of the lonely-hearts club. She, a dynamic sister with a bright future glazing in her horizon, sociable, a people-pleaser, ever-so insecure, met him, an attractive, slightly pretentious man, whose confidence, self-righteousness and charm could blow anyone’s pants off.

I went along with the venture, trying my best to facilitate what was an unlikely combination. She had returned from abroad at the beginning of the year and was detached from the life she left behind. But I, like others in our friendship group, was excited to hear about her stories, supposing that her brilliant mind was ticking over with exciting plans and was full of stories about new people and far-away lands.

On the other side of the equation, he and I had begun seeing each other quite often on the weekends, having a crazy time between us and with other frivolous friends. He spoke about his desire to calm down a little, to find someone with the prospect of longevity. So, when circumstances led them to meet, there was clear and open interest on both sides.

As the weeks went by I stood on the sidelines answering the questions of one about the other and tried my best to bridge some of the obvious differences between them. But it appeared that nothing was going to work between them. He had told me that he had been sleeping around, and even took another sister home on an evening in which she had called me to chase information about where he was. This came in his relationship disclaimer, that so as long as there was no future between them, and the attempts to make something work had reached an expiry date, he was free to do as he wished and with whomever he pleased.

She on the other hand was reappearing in my life quite sporadically to gain information about what he was doing, where he was and what I knew about him. It was strange because, aside from staying at my place when she first returned from abroad, I would only hear from her when she wanted something. It reached the point where I gathered that even she was aware of this, telling me one day “Let’s catch up soon, girl. I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.” I was not too concerned at this point; I was busy.

But, it was all to boil over after one wild evening when he and I shared a kiss at a club. Having been told that nothing was going on between them, I fell to his charms and was one of two women to be swooned that evening with his kiss. I realized that what I had done was foul when I turned to see him with that another sister. Indignant, I left the club. The next day I spoke with him to clear the air, only to discover that he and my friend, she, were seeing each other that evening for round two.

At this point my anger about having been used as a go-between-girl between two unmatched people had reached its climax. After months of being there for both of them, I was eventually pushed to redundancy, the friendships began to end and my interactions with both faded. I also can’t overlook the notion that I was slightly jealous. Two friends, who I had known for 2 years on separate grounds, had run off together and were leaving me behind.

So one evening, I directed a comment to him, amongst friends, that questioned the worth of his friendship. Given how proactive he was in broadcasting to the world a sense of moral superiority and excellence in friendship, he took my criticism poorly and defensively. I considered him a dirty rat, so I didn’t care about how he reacted.

But then, the following day, I received a phone call from her questioning me about the evening in which he and I had kissed. He had obviously told her to spite me and I imagined this was accompanied with the usual dialogue of “she must love me,” which he regularly uses to justify burnt bridges with women (those he burns with men are because they are jealous of his style and charm.) Cornered, I asked to meet with her the next day during my lunch break. She accepted but brought along a mutual friend so to avoid any conversation about what had happened. This was a clear indication she was not interested in hearing what I knew. I told her anyway.

A week later, having boiled over in self-reflection, I sent her an SMS with a stern warning her to watch her mouth with other people. She had fragrantly spread the word amongst mutual friends that I was the saboteur between them as they went about sewing the seeds of their rock-sold connection. I doubted, at this point, that she believed me when I told her about him sleeping around. This sickened me in my self-righteousness because I knew they were having unprotected sex, for which he would take no responsibility. A typical player – selfish and irresponsible.

The entire scenario left me feeling foolish and ashamed. Aside from considering him a friend of mine – an arrogant man with little no consideration of other people’s dignity – I had also fallen victim to subtle ways of a sister’s convenience friendship.

In all of this, I did things I was not at all proud of. I was very wrong to have kissed him without appreciating fully that she still may have had feelings for him by virtue of not knowing he was sleeping around and meeting new women. Her interaction with me was so sporadic, and always so focused on her needs with him, that I was never given the opportunity to know that she was still pursuing him at that point. But, as they began seeing each other again, with talk of them moving in together, a common enemy for them both has been the best method to cover up their obvious differences. Ultimately, my former sister got what she wanted – to fill a void in her life with a charming man. My services to her have dried up and so too has the friendship.

I scratch my head occasionally and wonder whether or not I should still care about her. But then I realize that it was a lesson learned for me and that so too will it be a lesson for her when she finally gets burned.

And that is how one friendship of convenience reached its inevitable end.

“I Love My Husband, But I Want His Friend & I’m Thinking Of Leaving With This Guy”

Is It Possible To Re-Do Romance?

In his new book entitled: ”Shaq Uncut.. My Story”, the big man admits that too many female options caused his marriage to now ex-wife Shaunie, to fail. OK Shaq, this has ot to be the lamest excuse I have ever heard come out of a grown man’s mouth! Mr. O’Neal it wasn’t about too many options, the bottom line is you had already made the decision as to which option you wanted when you said “I DO”, I’m just saying. I refuse to believe that a man, or a woman that claims to have the self discipline to say no to everything and yes to basketball practice, (well apparently Shaq said no to practicing free throws, but anyway), can turn around and not have the same discipline to say NO to 1,2,3, or 15 side pieces and YES to his wife/family. I refuse to believe you or anyone is that weak. Be honest… You did what you wanted to do and kept it moving… I’m just saying… Don’t MAN-UP now…. You should have held ya THROBBING MANHOOD DOWN in the beginning…

read more

Shaq and Shaunie in happier times

If you haven’t heard, Ms. Fantasia Barrino recently announced what Mother Nature had already confirmed, That’s right Fantasia is pregnant. Now the rumor mills have been spinning on who the unborn baby’s father is. Some say the father must be Antwan Cook, the married man Fantasia has an affair with. That hasn’t been confirmed.

However sources say the Antwan Cook is still married to Paula Cook and told her early on that Fantasia was pregnant. He wanted to make sure that Paula heard it from him and not the press. Really dude? Now you are concerned about how Paula feels? are you kidding me? after you did what you did? I’m just saying….

read more

I recently met at an undisclosed location with a panel of ten husbands who were currently cheating on their wives. (I am the RelationshipBeast, Dr. Phil won’t go to the gutter to get that really, real intel like me! Oprah would not be allowed in the room with a panel of ten men who are currently cheaters! I said current cheaters! Not ten-year-ago-I-was-cheating-because-I-was-doing-cocaine-cheaters! REAL CHEATERS! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT  NOW! (Dear Oprah, no disrespect. Get at me. Dr. Phil, I hope you been saving. I am coming for your spot.)

Nine out of the ten husbands that are currently cheating said that if they were getting the same sex after the wedding date that they were getting before the wedding date that they would not be cheating. Let me say that again but differently: Nine out of the ten husbands said that their wives are not handling their bit-ness! A husband is a man first, and a man is going to have sex. Wives, if you don’t care to have a healthy sex life with your husband, you don’t have to but when you find out that his sex life is healthy without you . . . don’t be mad.

Yesterday I was in a counseling session with a wife that was an emotional mess after finding out that her husband was cheating. (He was not a member of the panel.) She said this in her cry voice (I am not making fun of her! Just trying to write an entertaining article for y’all. Now read this in your cry voice.) “Mr. RelationshipBeast he told me that she does things to him that no woman has ever done to him. He said that no woman has ever made him feel the way that she makes him feel.” I said something that made her abruptly stop crying. I said, “How you let some other trick turn yo husband out?” (I am the RelationshipBeast! Don’t be coming at me thinking that I am not going to keep it real with you! I am here to save the Institution of Marriage and change the way that people date and relate. It’s not personal, it’s just business.)

I don’t believe that once a cheater always a cheater. I don’t believe in divorce either so therefore, I must believe in rehabilitation, counseling and re-commitment. The first step in saving a marriage that is in the midst of a cheating scandal is to figure out why the dude was cheating. She said that her husband was willing to talk to me so I called him.

RelationshipBeast: Why did you cheat?

Husband: I haven’t been getting any at home. No sex, no intimacy, no affection.

RelationshipBeast: Why not?

Husband: Well, we have been arguing a lot lately. We are just not getting along. It’s always something.

RelationshipBeast: I tell men everyday “If your woman is always arguing with you, it is because she thinks that you are a woman.” The man is the Director of Communication in the household. Arguments mean that the communication is bad, which means that the Director of Communication is under qualified and will certainly have to be replaced at some point. The MAN must take responsibility for communication. If communication is not going well, if conversation is not going well, if she is not listening to you, then you need to shut up and listen to her. Once she feels that you are hearing her she will stop talking. (Ok, a certain percentage of that previous statement is not true but you get the point.)

Find Out What The Husband Said Next!

Twitter.com/StevenJDixon

Facebook.com/RelationshipBeast

Register for the RelationshipBeast Mailing List on http://www.RelationshipBeast.com!

Why Can’t Successful Women Keep A Man?

Why You Should Never Date Your Girlfriend’s Man

Let’s all take a moment to laugh. . .

The honest truth is that women deal with cheating better because they have either experienced it or observed it. Growing up I heard rumors of the males in my family cheating on multiple occasions. I have a huge family. Twenty-two uncles and aunts. I have never heard of any case, situation or possibility of a woman cheating on a man in my family. As an adult, I have male friends who are cheating instead of reading this article at this very moment. I too was once a cheater. This is not to say that women don’t cheat, because they do, but compared to men, the cheating of women is few and far between. With cheating by women not being as significant, when it does happen to the man he is totally unprepared to handle the indiscretion emotionally. He is totally blindsided.

I cannot recall, not one single time in my life, where I thought a woman was cheating on me. Not while dating or married. Part of the reason may be because that thought would never cross my mind. If my wife didn’t show up at the house tonight I would just assume that her cell phone died or she got lost or something. NO WAY SHE IS OUT CHEATING ON ALL THIS!!!! Furthermore, lie to me, I don’t wanna know.

I actually covered this topic in detail in my book “Men Don’t Heal, We Ho”.  To read more and to see the excerpt from the book Click Here:

Be sure to check out Steven James Dixon talking about this article on “The Michael Baisden Show” on Monday, June 6, 2011.

Does Watching Porn Count As Cheating?

5 Reasons Women Should Slow Down When Dating

Twitter.com/StevenJDixon

Facebook.com/StevenJamesDixon

“Men Don’t Heal, We Ho – A Book About the Emotional Instability of Men” is now available on RelationshipBeast.com.

- Audio Book Available on iTunes.

Register for the RelationshipBeast Mailing List on RelationshipBeast.com!

It must be a law of nature that alpha males with resources galore are compelled to get themselves into sexual peril. Yet we are always surprised. And disgusted. A recent article on Details.com revealed that, “Americans find adultery more repugnant than polygamy and human cloning.” But (throws up her hands), it keeps happening! Why!? From Martin Luther King to JFK, this most sexually repugnant of social acts is perpetually performed by our most esteemed gentlemen, with the least attractive women.

RELATED: IMF Chief Steps Down After Rape Charges By African Maid

Men of power (and those that want to be like them): If you intend to play Russian Roulette with your life by having unprotected sex with any available vagina, why bring other lives into the wager by making a public commitment to another human being? And women – why do we silently put up with it – while pretending we don’t want the same thing?

Yes, women cheat – but when it happens, you would never know. I bet Jackie Kennedy had a few pool boys and stable grooms stowed away for the hard times when Jack was out banging Marilyn. When Tammy Faye Bakker watched her bible-backed empire crumble to pieces because her husband used church funds to pay off his side piece, I bet she had a pair of strong, young arms to weep into. Men of power create bonds with the most intelligent, charismatic women in the world, who join forces with them because they also want to attain the pinnacle of success. That takes passion and fire. Could that kind of energy just wither away while a wandering man gorges himself on human flesh? I doubt it.

So I applaud these women for the secret affairs they were certainly having – because they could get what they wanted and keep the peace. Today’s male philanderers should take note. When women cheat, they won’t leave a paper trail.  They don’t have outside children. They don’t perform acts that border on rape, drawing media glare. I don’t judge cheating men for cheating. I judge them for being sloppy.

Maybe future power wives should be as open — and perhaps average wives should consider the same. I question the purpose of straining to maintain fidelity if your male partner is highly likely to cheat. Recent studies put the chances at almost one in three, shooting up to 75% if a man knows he will never get caught. Perhaps more ladies should express what might be their natural ability to dabble without ruining lives. If cheating men followed their lead, they would stop:

1.    Creating children that become emotionally scarred adults.
2.    Transforming inspiring legacies into farcical dramas.
3.    Reducing a couple’s prestige, which was maintained by a sacrificial wife, into rubble through callous acts of love.

I am talking about admitting the truth on both sides. All the pearl clutching over the infidelities of famous men is getting to be ridiculous. It is the playacting of maintaining a monogamous façade that creates the destructive nature of affairs. The requirement that the true nature of male desire remain a secret to women, and the stereotype that women are not interested in sexual variety, sets the stage for mutual disappointment. It’s sad to endure the pain of infidelity, but it’s equally odd that millions of women are invested in keeping all men totally committed when that is a laughable enterprise.

Perhaps the mirage of monogamy is a marital house of cards, destined for destruction as society marches into the new millennium. It’s obviously not for everyone. Instead of riding on Arnold, let’s explore this fact. His public act of disgrace is just the calling card of a new era in which men might openly admit their lack of interest in commitment, so women can become freer for nonjudgemental sexual expression — maintaining emotional fidelity where they see fit.

Instead of hurling moral judgments, we should objectively consider what might be possible for relationships in the future, given these realities, and move forward. Let’s discuss.

RELATED: There’s More?! Arnold’s Mistress Says She Was “Only One Of Many”

Get ready ya’ll, it’s on now.  Steve Harvey’s ex-wife took to You Tube to give the world the real deal on their life together as husband and wife. Mary Havery goes into serious detail about how she just about everything you can imagine. She even talks about his current wife, Marjorie, being his  mistress when they were married and reads a letter she got from another allegded mistress named Terry..  I’m so sure Mr. Harvey is not laughing at this You Tube viral video.

skip the tell all book, the former Mrs. Steve Harvey has TV-One “Life After” story here. Listen for yourself.

You read the title right. An woman from Illinois, who by the way is a doctor,  saved the sperm from her former lover, another doctor she was allegedly having an affair with, to get herself pregnant. The donor, had no idea what she was up to and thought he was just getting… well you get the picture. Click here to read more about the child support case, how he fought back and the courts final ruling. The saddest part is that one day the little girl will find out about all of this.

HERE ARE A FEW MORE STORIES YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS:

MOM STRIPS FOR HER KIDS.

JANET OPENS UP ABOUT HER LIFE FROM CHILDHOOD TO ADULTHOOD

ARE THESE CHICKS REALLY FIGHTING OVER FOOD?

STEVE HARVEY SENDS EX-WIFE A SURPRISE IN A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

TARAJI P. HENSON GETS NAKED (PHOTOS)

NOW YOU CAN GET YOUR POLE DANCING ON FOR JESUS

JANETS GET WILD IN HER CATSUIT (PHOTOS)

ANITA BAKER ALMOST GOES TO JAIL OVER DIVORCE.

MAN CAUGHT HAVING SEX WITH HOGS

BEYONCE SHOWS OFF HER FREAKUM DRESS AND STILETTOS

Other times it isn’t so clear. For many this process of ending a relationship can be very confusing and painful. The on again off again phase can wear you out. You make up and break up and it’s an ongoing saga. Or, you may be getting mixed signals. Their words don’t match their actions. They say one thing but do another.

Until you are both on the same page and working toward the same goal, which is fixing the relationship, you will be in a perpetual state of uncertainty.

Knowing what you want, setting boundaries and clearly communicating with one another is vital in knowing which direction you are heading. If you are the only one trying to make things work and your partner doesn’t even want to talk about it, then, you aren’t in a relationship, you are walking down a one-way street.

There are times when people will do whatever it takes to stay in a broken relationship just to avoid being alone. Even if it means being miserable. If you find yourself making excuses for intolerable behaviors, accepting the unacceptable and you continue to stay when you know you should leave. It’s time to accept that more than likely your relationship may not be over but it should be.

A relationship is over when both partners have exhausted all attempts of truly trying to put things back together. It’s over when all of the crying, therapy, talking, begging, pleasing, compromising, bending over backwards, wishing and hoping doesn’t seem to help and you find yourself at the end of your rope.

Unless the two of you can find a way to make things work, it’s not worth spending a lifetime trying to fix something that isn’t fixable. Sometimes it’s time to open your eyes to the possibility that things simply aren’t going to work out and it’s time to move on.

You know when your relationship is over. When one or both of your quit trying, quit caring or you quit wanting to try to make it work out. It’s a hard pill to swallow but if you are in a relationship and you are unhappy most of the time, then it’s time to ask yourself if this is really how you want to live the rest of your life.

The temporary pain you will feel when healing from a broken heart is a lot less painful than a lifetime of pain that goes along with living in misery.

I’m sure there’s a tell-all book just waiting to be published!

Should 3-Time Hubby Steve Harvey REALLY Be A Love Columnist?

Steve Harvey On Chivalry And Setting Standards

Steve Harvey On Golddiggers And Getting Hitched