By Cathy Holloway Hill
The best way to make friends with yourself is to take your power back. When you focus on people, and situations, that make your live difficult, you give your power away. This leaves you feeling insecure and out of control.
You cannot change how other people react but you can reclaim your power by choosing how you want to act and behave.
Do you tend to allow others to cause problems in your life? If you have ever asked yourself the question, “I wish he/she would change”, then you are dis-empowered because it keeps you focused externally on somebody else. It nurtures the need to fix the other person and rarely solves the problem.
A more effective, highly empowering question is: “What can I do to solve the problem?” This question helps you to look inside yourself where you can find strength. Feeling angry or insecure in the presence of another person often points to a sensitivity inside you. We always drain our energy trying to fix or change others when the only person we truly have control to change is ourselves.
Ask yourself: What is it in me that drives me to react to this person? This focus allows you to get out of the victim role and do something about the situation. It gives you the opportunity to identify your sensitivity and release it. It also gives you the strength, courage, and power to “respond” to the toxic situation rather than “react.” A response is a positive behavior based on logic and forethought. A reaction, however, is purely emotional.
When you release your own insecurity and stop emotionally reacting, the other person suddenly is no longer in control or a source of overwhelming stress. From this more confident and calm space you can find creative solutions to deal with this person if necessary. You also will feel a renewed sense of energy and strength to reclaim your power.
Become friends with yourself. Focus on your own issues and resolve them. Your self-confidence will soar and you regain control over your life.
Write to me at cathy@chollowayhill.com for your free MP3 download to help you learn how to become your own best friend.
