While most attention is given to women who are abused by men, men are often overlooked victims of domestic violence. Victims of domestic violence come from all walks of life — all cultures, all income groups, all ages, all religions. Men are silent sufferers. We easily believe a woman who claims abuse, but a man is expected to always hold be the one giving the abuse. This is not the case.
Read these facts:
- Every 38 seconds, somewhere in America a man is battered.
- Center For Disease Control estimates 835,000 men are the victims of domestic violence each year.
- A survey 0f 1,000 women, perhaps the largest survey of its kind, found that 20% had initiated violence. The most common reasons for women initiating domestic violence were: “My partner wasn’t sensitive to my needs,” (46%), “I wished to gain my partner’s attention,” (44%) and “My partner was not listening to me” (43%). “My partner was being verbally abusive to me” (38%) was a distant fourth. (Source: Fiebert. M. and Gonzalez, D. (1997). College Women Who Initiate Assaults on their Male Partners and the Reasons Offered for Such Behavior. Psychological Reports, 80, 583-590 (1997)
Some things that are worth thinking about gentlemen if you’re wondering “Was I abused?” include:
- Did she embarrass or humiliate you in front of other people, including your friends or family?
- Did she insist that anything you wanted for yourself was selfish and/or wrong?
- Did she threaten you, or threaten to harm herself or anyone else, if/when you left?
- Did she force you to ask her for money, or take your money away from you? Did she have control of the family finances, so you didn’t even know what or when money was being spent?
- Did she prevent you from taking a job you wanted, or going to school? Did she force you, either directly or through manipulation, to quit a job you had?
- Did she make jokes about her treatment of you, insist that she never did anything to hurt you, or blame you for her behavior?
- Did she treat you as if you were her servant?
- Did she ever belittle your beliefs, or tell you that your faith is wrong?
- Did she make you leave social gatherings, or restrict your contact with your friends or family?
- Did she make you feel afraid, or like you needed to be “careful” around her?
- Did she make you feel guilty or ashamed about yourself, your feelings, your beliefs, or anything else that makes you a unique individual?
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******If you find yourself saying yes, it’s time to get help.*****
1. If anybody is being touched or controlled or dominated, (financially or physically) if any abuse is being forced against the will of another, there is abuse going on …it is likely to be violent… She has an anger problem.