- Casually bring up a conversation that indirectly and impersonally involves the topic of marriage. You can mention someone else who got married or engaged recently or make a comment on an engagement commercial, for example. Don’t sit him down for a serious conversation until you’ve at least casually (and in a lighthearted manner) talked about it in passing. A good way to start things is to express confusion, even mild criticism.
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2
Ease him into conversations about your future together. If he isn’t responsive to the indirect approach, start slowly making it more direct with phrases like, “if we stay together,” “if we live together,” and later, “if we get married.” Watch his reaction. See if he carries that conversation on or avoids the subject. Keep in mind that even though this may have been on your mind for a long time, this is a new conversation for him and he needs time to sort out his thoughts. Don’t expect him to have his answer prepared.
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3
Get a feel for his views on marriage.
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4
Address his fears.
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5
Make a logical argument for getting married. If he’s a logical thinker, appeal to that part of his brain. Practical and legal benefits of marriage include putting your significant other on your insurance plan, being eligible for more government benefits and filing joint income tax returns.
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Avoid a vicious cycle. Sometimes there is an issue in the relationship that keeps rearing its ugly head. You argue about it, which makes him less inclined to marry you. This could be anything ranging from financial issues to dissatisfaction with sexual performance
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7
Avoid repeatedly bringing up marriage talks. It’s a guarantee that if you mentioned wanting to get married once, it’s burned into his brain. The more you talk about it, the less he hears it.
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8
Tell your friends and family to zip it. You may think your friends are being helpful by casually slipping in marriage comments to him, but it will likely make him feel ganged up on. Let him come to the decision on his own, without the advice or urging of those in your life.
